Decisions and Choices and Options, Oh My!

The downsizing is underway.  I am surprised with the feeling of loss that comes as I part with many of my items.  In addition, I’m having difficulty knowing that downsizing will eventually mean moving from our present home to something smaller and more manageable.  I want to be assured, or at least believe, that the replacement will bring me as much  tranquility and joy as this home has.  But we do not have a “plan” — we have some ideas but I think this change frightens both Bruce and I.  Even in the midst of these fears, I am moved to “throw caution to the wind.”  I keep hearing the words of Lee Ann Wormack in I Hope You Dance:

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they’re worth taking

Helen Keller had some thoughts on the subject too:

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.  ~ Helen Keller

And Washington Iving, assures us that there’s good even when we experience a worsening in our situation because of change.

There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse!  As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position, and be bruised in a new place. ~Washington Irving

(By the way, that is so Pollyannish, I just love it!)

Funny how when I look back on our life together, I tend to think of Bruce and I as masters of the “safe and predictable” but with a bit more thought I realize that is not necessarily true.

We made a choice early on to “take the road less traveled” in regards to the building of our family.  So here we are again, at a crossroad — with a decision to make, one that could make “all the difference.”

If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies. ~ Author Unknown

It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves – in finding themselves. ~André Gide

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights. ~Pauline R. Kezer

We need a plan.

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About dbdaze

Currently spending much of my time contemplating the remainder of my life ... realizing the importance of dreams that are fulfilled, support of those closest to you, and the value in downsizing and living with less.
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8 Responses to Decisions and Choices and Options, Oh My!

  1. Wanda Howell says:

    From One Cousin to Another
    When I think about downsizing I get weak in the knees. Both of us kept everything. Didn’t throw anything away. I have a lot of stuff that wouldn’t mean a hill of bean to anybody else but me. Guess I am too sentimental when it comes to parting with a lot of my “treasures.” I am going to let you and a host of your friends tell their story of downsizing. I might get motivated to at least give it some thought. One thing about it now in this part of the country is it’s not the right time to put your house on the market. I would be the looser. I am not going to give my home away. Pat and I worked too hard to get it payed for in 15 yrs so we could enjoy retirement without having to worry about a house payment. I wish Tina and her family would move in with me and rent theirs but that will never happen. I have enough room. (32oo sq ft)Right now I am still able to stay here for a while. I would not know where to start. Who knows I might e-mail you tomorrow and have changed my mind. (That’s why women have such clean minds, they change them so often.)

    Wanda

    • dbdaze says:

      Wanda, I’m so glad you posted — no matter if we agree or not, I’m delighted you took the time to tell me your views. I can understand your not wanting to sell or downsize right now. There are a lot of memories with Pat in that home of yours– it’s not the time. And yes, changing your mind is ALWAYS an option!

  2. Deidra says:

    Did you read that Mom? Judithhb-“This is the time for you two to have your adventures- just you two, no kids.”

  3. judithhb says:

    I agree with Barbara. I recently downsized from a three bedroom 2,500 sq ft house, double garage et al into a very small (under 1000 sq ft) house and no garage for the overflow. Although I have moved many many times in my life, this one was a real challenge as so much had to go.
    But we do surround ourselves with things that we no longer use and keep just in case. When the Salvation Army took the last of the things that I couldn’t fit into my new home I felt a sense of relief as if a load had lifted.
    So may I suggest that you take stock of what you really can’t live without and then let the rest go with joy in your heart knowing that somebody else will benefit from your generosity. And my mantra is and has been for a long time – If you get the choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance. Lee Ann Womak’s CD is playing as I write this. Synchronicity?
    And a plan? This is the time for you two to have your adventures – just you two, no kids. So I encourage you to look forward to it and to thank your god or the Universe or whatever that you have each other to move into the next phase of your life with.

    • dbdaze says:

      I truly appreciate the comments and sentiments that you and Barbara have made — since you’ve both “been there, done that”, it’s all the more significant. Thank you, both!

  4. Barbara Snow says:

    I must tell you that making changes to your life style and downsizing can be very uplifting. I was in a forced downsize many years ago when I lost my house and most of my favorite possessions in a flood. I was devastated for awhile……then realized that I now had a freedom to do things that I never thought I could because I did not have a lot of possessions to deal with. I was amazed at what I could now do because I had the “time” that was usually spent in taking care of a lot of stuff. Over the years I have accumulated a lot more stuff than I lost and am now facing the notion that some of this stuff is a noose around my neck and does not really let me have the freedom that I once had. We spend some winters in AZ in a small place….less than 800 sq ft and it gives me time to do things that I want to do……cleaning it is a breeze and accumulating a lot of stuff there is not always an option. Two winters ago we went to Dallas to be closer to my daughter……we rented furniture and a one bedroom apartment and that too, was freeing…….I had long days to do what felt good at the time…….so we are now starting the downsizing……this time permanently……..as I now want that same kind of time to do whatever it is that I want to do instead of cleaning the garage and mowing the lawn! Debbie……enjoy the challenge of change……..and it won’t be long before you wonder why you did not do it sooner…..or better yet,……….why did you have all that stuff………I ponder that daily…….

    • dbdaze says:

      Barbara, thank you for sharing your experiences. I totally get the freedom that can come from downsizing and, other than releasing the emotional attachments, I’m growing in acceptance of this change. My biggest problem is not knowing what is to come, and I don’t mean this in a good way. I’m all for being open for new experiences and following your spirit. If this were the case, I’d be all over it but unfortunately there are roadblocks which complicate this major change. I like to “leap” or at least have a “plan” that keeps me motivated and excited. I think a plan is in order here — I may have to leave my “leaping” in check for awhile.

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