I’ve been AWOL — no blog posts for weeks! Some may wonder if it’s due to my recent surgery but that’s not the case. Recovery from surgery is going great … no physical problems at all! It’s just that I’ve just been in a mental funk … an overwhelming mental funk.
Sometimes I feel the weight of the universe much more intensely than I should. It’s especially difficult since I know, for the most part, I can’t solve the problems that pain me. I worry for our country, for the young, the disabled and the elderly. I worry about my children, my friends, and I worry for Bruce and I. I worry for strangers. There is a common thread here, in case you haven’t noticed — worry.
Intellectually, I know worrying does nothing at all to help but somehow my mind doesn’t really care. It goes on worrying and fretting all day and well into the night. From past experience, the intensity of this burden will eventually lessen, but at it’s own accord and it’s own time. It’s out of my control.
I envy those of you who are able to still your mind (be it through yoga, meditation, or on your reliance on a Higher Power) and find peace. I see firsthand the effects of the budget cuts on the most vulnerable population in our country and I’m unable to find peace. There is nothing peaceful or comforting to me about the state of our country and the direction we are heading — job layoffs, home foreclosures, poor healthcare, veterans losing their benefits, the list goes on and on. It is disheartening.
So you see, I am most definitely in a FUNK! Most of you will probably wish I had stayed quiet until it passed but because my blog is a reflection of my life, I chose to share it … the good, the bad and the ugly! Lucky you, you get it all!
What I really need about now is a good dose of Pollyanna’s “Glad Game!” Anyone want to play?
My Quest 
Pingback: The Glad Game « The Atkins: In This Life of Ours
It’s lovely to see all the positive comments. I hope they go someway towards moving you out of the funk. Have you written a gratitude list yet? this could be a good start. Have a look on mine at http://growingyoungereachday.wordpress.com/my-gratitude-list/. Start one for yourself and you will see how many things you have to be grateful
Start with Deidra who I assume is your daughter as she calls you Mom. She is on your side.
Thank you for sharing your gratitude list. Sorry to see you lost your husband — that has to be hard. LUV, luv, luv your dog!!! Mine is a Chinese Crested Hairless — it’s a breed you either think is cute or ugly. Unfortunately, my little guy (he’s only 7) lost both his eyes this past year. He’s doing pretty darn good and to me, he’s still my handsome boy!
I’m glad it’s almost Spring, it’s light out after dinner, and this weekend it will be light even later! I’m glad my husband has a job even though it means I have to cook and clean again. I’m glad my kids are all healthy and happy. And I’m glad for friends who are willing to take off the happy mask and expose their real selves. It frees me up to be real too. I’m glad I have a friend named Debbie Day.
I’m glad for the sun shining today (which almost encouraged me to take a hike); I’m glad that my creative cooking tonight actually was quite tasty (for once); I’m glad for a son (Tim) who always thanks me after every meal; I’m glad to know that if you whip very ripe bananas for a long time, it will transform into natural ice cream (really!); I’m glad to have friends (and family) who encourage me to continue my blogging, and in doing so, help release me from this funk; and I’m really glad to be cancer-free.
My dad used to say (with a twinkle), “They told me to cheer up, things could be worse. So, I cheered up; and sure enough, they got worse.”
I think a mental funk is typical after surgery. Not really helpful to know, but there it is.
My Bible study group is studying Revelation. My word, you think things are bad now…
The glad game:
I’m glad there isn’t more money because I’d be out spending it instead of getting to stay home.
Also, in the last few years, God has provided through others: refrigerator, dishwasher, clothes washer, stove, television, VCR/DVD, computers, THREE vehicles. And those are just the big ticket items. So, I’m glad I had the opportunity to see and know God’s care for me.
If I had more clothes in my closet, I’d have more decisions to make every day – I don’t need that – so I’m glad I don’t.
I’m glad my computer is put together from pieces of other people’s cast-off broken-down computers because it helps me appreciate the talents of my son-in-law. And I’m finally glad that there has been a broken-down computer at my feet (literally underfoot) for months because yesterday Amit took a chunk out of it and put it into the one I’m using which had “died” and, voila, I’m back online.
Yes, I think you’re right about a person’s mental state after surgery. I need to keep that in mind. I also know that you’ve had many trials so to read your list of gratitudes puts me to shame! I’m off to work on my own Glad Game! Thank you!
You know Mom, you admitted that you know you are unable to change the majority of the situations you are spending so much of your time worrying about. Therefore, you are not actually doing yourself, or anybody else in this world, any good stressing about it. I know it feels like you have no control over the thoughts that consume your mind but maybe it would help to wake up each morning and concentrate on what you COULD do that day to bring a bit of happiness to yourself or someone else. I’m thinking you’d have to shove some of those negative thoughts aside in order to do this, at least for a little while. Also Mom, we’ve all been thought tough times, even hopeless times and somehow, everything has a way of working it’s self out in the end. Keep your head up, and remember to appreciate all that you do have or have had over the years (friends, awesome family, your dream home, experiences, memories), I’m sure you could think of some others if you tried. Love you!
I used to be so good at the Glad Game but as I get older I find it’s harder. It seems like it should be the opposite since the older I get, the more I would have to be thankful for, right? Partly I believe as you get older, your body runs out of steam and is physically unable to accomplish many of the tasks of old. For the first time, you realize that life has an end! (Wonders of wonders!) LOL
Thanks for the pep talk, Deidra. I’m GLAD you’re my daughter! (How’s that for starters?)
in times like this, I look to that wise, old pessimist Rodney Dangerfield for inspirational guidance…things could be worse:
“When I went to open the door to go to work, the doorknob came off. When I bent down to pick up my briefcase, the handle fell off…I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.”
‘It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood”. (Dr Fred Rogers)
Ah, I know how you feel. I have been very much the same way myself.
Sending HUGS your way!!
Love ya, sistah!
Shirley
Thanks, Shirley. I am surprised to find that acknowledging my feelings in this blog has been helpful — perhaps releasing me from the need to hold all all our country’s problems on my shoulders alone. Knowing that the feelings are shared is strangely comforting, in a odd sort of way. Hugs back at ya, my dear!